on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
