do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Two words: nipple clamps
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