no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
