just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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