Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
