Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
