yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
