So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize