So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
