shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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