i think i have two assholes
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
