I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
