The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I am available for nakedness
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
