I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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