I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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