im having a threesome with these popsicles
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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