i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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