I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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