yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
