I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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