Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Randomize
