Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
