Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
