Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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