So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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