He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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