so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
