I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
We are two peas in an std pod
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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