it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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