I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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