dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Well I just put wine in my tea
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize