Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
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