Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize