Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
