I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
