She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
