Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
