Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
