oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
