just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
