her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
