I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
