if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
