oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
