My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
