we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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