I accidentally had phone sex last night
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
