I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
mondays should just be called national damage control day
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
