I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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