Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
