Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
