HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
he puts the penis in happiness.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
