So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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