so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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