I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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