i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
