her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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