he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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