I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
